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How to treat a German woman the right way...

Posted in Germany forum

To me that's a really difficult question! It's always a bit harder to date somebody of another culture, but with German girls I just don't get along!
I know the 'traditional' dating rules, for example the guy has to pay everything - but in Germany I heard that some girls get offended by this because their independence is questioned.
Whatever you do, you do it wrong!

What did you experience? Girls are also welcome to join this discussion!

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  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    Hehe...Better they get to know it now than on their first date with a girl xD

    But maybe we're just exceptions to the rule. Like in the nice proverb "The exception proves the rule". Yeeeah, maybe. Maybe not.
    I think I should stop getting them all confused or they will never date a German woman xD

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    Hi Tim! Why do you think it would be hard for you? Because of the compliments? ;)

  • Tim la

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    I agree with Dora Boehn.

    And i think that is also quite hard for me to date a girl.

  • Joshua Ndip Ako

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    You are not far from the truth.....your argument is very logical...thanks very much

  • Joshua Ndip Ako

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    Compliments are part of life, even animals in the forest appreciate compliments. What do u mean by intensive compliments, compliments are compliments. We can´t live in a world where people don´t appreciate. I am from Africa but I´ve been to the US, Europe....studied with American and European students. I even worked with peace corpse guys in my own country.
    My friends always tell me. hey Joshua, never trust a European girl...hey Joshua, why do u pay drinks for everyone....sometimes it differs from the way Americans think and the way European think and also differs from which part of America or Europe u come from....When I take my friends out for a drink in Africa I don´t expect them to pay for anythink...that is part of our culture.

    As far as dating a girl in Germany or Europe in general is concern....i think it is just about exposure....If u meet a European girl who´ve been out of Europe or live out of Europe u will definitely know. The approach, behaviour and smile is totally different. All my friends always say, why do people always smile in Africa....I always say because humanity originated in Africa.

    I will advice all the guys coming to Germany not to tell a girl `I LIKE U OR I LOVE U´, the answer will be `U DON´T EVEN KNOW ME´.

    I had a friend at the university of cape town in South Africa who sincerely liked a German girl in the same faculty, one day we went out dancing, this guy approached her and told her, hey Katrina liked u ...she said to him afterwards..`U DON´T EVEN KNOW ME. Towards the end of the first semester this same guy fell in love with an American girl who `was a friend to this same girl. After one, two, four and up until now this guy is still together with this girl. The German girl later on confess to me that she never new this guy is a very nice guy.

    My advice to everyone is, it might take one minute to know someone and it might equally take a 100yrs to not know someone. Sometimes we lost loved ones just because we want to go back to our cultures....the world is not static....don´t miss ur chances

  • Chase Ellison

    posted by  in Germany forum 

    The worry about being cliché is futile as most dating in Western culture is pretty much the same format. However, the differences between expected behaviors (I.E. In the US and now I read Mexico it is fashionable and expected to be late and in Germany it is rude and uncommon to be late.) would be the deal breaker even thought it may be accidental to be breaking these cultural faux pas.

    Mira asked a few days back about to expect from men in our cultures. I can speak some about the guys in the Mountain West (New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Utah) part of the United States

    Western cultural dates as I stated are pretty much the same.
    Dinner and a Movie, going for a romantic walk, having a cup of coffee and talking, and etcetera.

    On the first few dates assume that you date will probably open every door for you after that it typically trails off. This is very common but not a constant (Side note: men from the south will open every door every time during your relationship.) .

    Also, many Americans in this area are some place between a rural and city person so often times these first dates will be in a less crowded place as it is not typically comfortable for most people from this area to be in the middle of a big city.

    Typically the men will pay for the first few dates then will start the share the cost of the dates shortly after the first date.

    The people here are not very brash as you would see from New York or California. Being a bit shy from physical contact it is often taken slowly and awkwardly until the woman responds in a noticeable manner.

    I am not sure if this is universal or not.. it might be though. Men have a difficult time taking clues, hints, subtle suggestions, if its not obvious it probably will not be seen.

    Small talk is abundant during the first part of the date. Often this is just fishing for a topic to talk about. From my understanding this is a typical American thing that is not common around the world.

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    Thanks Juan, for following the total cliche xD
    But your partly right, some woman (not only German ones, I think) are totally into that stuff, with the man paying everything, arranging romantic evenings and being her "protector".
    Still there some girls who don't like that at all...they prefer paying the bills by themselves and things like that, maybe the don't want to feel dependent.
    Puuuuh, complicated things going on here ;-)

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    don´t you think he´s right? ;)

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    German women are really great, but they want to be treated like real ladies and not like independend and emancipated strong woman. I had lots of success with treating them exactly the way I would treat a mexican girl: give her lots of compliments, buy her some drinks, invite her to a romantic dinner, play some songs on the guitar, be very polite and obliging..and soon she will be totally into you..;)

  • posted by  in Germany forum 

    Your post's very interesting, I'm waiting for more! ;)
    I have to comment point 1 (if you ever come to México): If a friend invites you to his house for 1 PM, be there at 1.30 or even later. There's no chance he's ready at 1 PM.
    I'm afraid I will never manage to be punctual when I come to Germany...I have to work on this ;)

    @Martin
    A German friend of mine also told me about the issue you mentioned. Lots of children behave very disrespectful (even towards their parents, what I can't understand), either to make themselves get respected within their "clique" or for reasons I can't follow.
    Very sad fact, though.

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